“another kid with a different last name… makes me look like a slut!”
— mother bear, re: my recent descision to make kyle my facebook brother.
“you are the lindsay lohan of the chihuahua world.”
— my mom, while i was eavesdropping on her talking to the dog…..
“if you want a guy to like you, pretend you are a campfire. he will be mesmerized! he will not be able to take his eyes off of you!”
— my mom’s boyfriend, on (my inability of) picking up men.
“that guy has some serious eyelashes, they look like moustaches”
— my mom’s boyfriend, on edward cullen.
“hey poopheads! why is it that i get to call you poopheads and you are still excited to see me? that would be like if i called you feces face?”
— mom, on the “welcoming committee” (aka our dogs..)
me: when is byron’s birthday?
mom: this friday.
me: so, you are going to be at the hotel on friday night..?
mom: yes, but don’t have any big hoe down’s or anything
me: oh yeah, i am already thinking, “what kind of themes can i have?”
mom: well, they are selling these cheap disco balls at the dollarama, i could go swing by and pick you a couple up before i go to the hotel..?
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